An extra helping of Special K

Matt Stott produces the trailers that promote upcoming programmes and series on Travel Channel. When he's away from the edit suite, he has an almost unhealthy interest in all things golf related and a particular love of Irish golf courses. He plays off an extremely average 18 handicap, but insists he talks a good game. When left alone in a room, it's not long before he starts practicing his golf swing.

This is a real gem of a parkland course, designed by none other than Arnold Palmer himself. It’s set in the almost unnaturally green hills of County Kildare, seventeen miles south east of Dublin, Ireland. The grass here looks as though it has been treated or colour-corrected for effect. Grass shouldn’t be this green, but somehow it is.

The K Club's about to make a big noise in the world of golf. It's hosting the Ryder Cup 2006, the first Ryder Cup on Irish soil, and the club has forced its way to the top thanks to impressive attention to detail and meticulous planning.

I was looking forward to a relaxed start; hit 20 or 30 balls on the driving range, a few practice putts and a stroll to the first tee. But my morning was being written in the late hours of the night before. Even though my playing partners were initially looking forward to a challenging day out and we had strict instructions on where to rendezvous, Willie had other plans. His late night drinking and subsequent bailing out had a knock-on effect, resulting in us running to the starter's hut with unlaced shoes and scowls that would scare small children.

The first is a generous par 5. I tried my best to relax, but through gritted teeth and with veins pumping through my shirt, I managed a disheartening 9. Great. Never start a game of golf like this. Golf can be damn hard on you anyway, so what's the point of putting yourself under unnecessary pressure by arriving late? I reckon you should allow for appalling traffic conditions and a puncture on the way - at least.

I'd started breathing regularly again by the time we'd reached the second and the cold sweat I'd worked up was slowly evaporating. I fought hard to par the next two but had the 1st looming over me, reminding me how not to do it.

It was April 2003 and we were absolutely blessed with the weather. There wasn't a hint of wind on the front nine so it was easier than usual to choose your iron on the par 3's.

The River Liffey runs through the middle of the course and adds a certain spice to nearly every hole. On a few of the holes, the weather conditions and some surprisingly good drives made us feel like half-decent golfers. Yes, after a decent belt with the driver, the greens were only a mid-iron away, but we were playing off green tees, which can be ninety yards kinder than the professional ones. Make sure you view the 7th hole from the blue tees (professional) and you'll truly appreciate how much easier an amateur's game really is.

The back nine continue in similarly pristine condition with the 10th a seemingly straightforward par 4 of 361 yards. Until you spot the water all the way down the left-hand side and another water trap running across the fairway waiting to snare a good drive. The 12th is a stunning par 3 and will seem like a treat at only 120 yards. I must have suffered a blood rush here after making par on the hole before. Stepped up, feeling really confident, and disaster struck. Splash, splash, scratch, and I was back to teeing off last on the spectacular par 5, 14th.

The signature hole is undoubtedly the 478 yard, 18th. This plays uphill and is a dog-leg right par 5 over sculpted fairways. If you hit a decent drive shaping left to right, you're left with an tricky decision. There's a picturesque water feature running all the way along the left hand side with the green approximately 200 - 250 yards away over water and bunkers on the right hand side.

With my trusty 3 wood in hand I pictured dobbing my cap to the imaginary crowd as I screamed a ball to within ten feet for an eagle putt. The body was willing but my technique had long since departed. I coiled myself round and belted the ball into the ground and skywards, finally advancing ten yards once the ball landed. (This is actually a very hard shot to play twice). Ten yards might be fine for American Footballers or WWI trenchers at The Somme, but in golf its ignominy can only bettered by an air shot. After a round of ironic applause from my mates, I went through a far more relaxed set-up and hit a peach to within 14 feet of the pin. Agony and ecstasy in two shots. Finished with a two-putt par and salvaged a modicum of self-respect to carry to the 19th.

This is the sort of course where you can play Spot the Divot. The fairways are as smooth as a living room carpet; you feel a little embarrassed leaving your mark. Even the foliage wouldn't seem out of place at the Chelsea Flower Show. The K Club is extremely lush and open, and has a certain swagger about it. There are several dog-leg holes that seem to jerk their 'elbows' in your direction and convince you to cut corners. Don't be suckered in. You'll be hitting into trouble and there are plenty of surprises in store if you feel a cut above the course - you're better off following the suggested route.

'If you need to ask, you can't afford it'. Well, the K Club is very much in the top echelon of Ireland's parkland golf courses. Like a Cohiba Esplendido, or a decent wine you've been saving for the right occasion, it's a taste and experience to savour long into the future. At €250 a round, avoid turning up in a rush or hung-over. If you do, opt for the Stableford scoring system, and take each shot as it comes - but don't forget to take in the setting, no matter how badly your round is going.

To find out more about The K Club:
Straffan, Co. Kildare, Ireland.
Tel: +353 (0)1 6017200
Website: www.kclub.ie
Green Fees : Start at €115 - €250 for a non-resident, depending on season

If you have any thoughts on The K Club, then be sure to DROP ME A LINE

September 2005