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OH. OSLO.
GARETH DAVIS
looks after all the editorial content at Travel Channel and
runs the website. So if you've any comments or complaints, he's
the one to get in touch with! He also produces and presents
on the channel, primarily the series THE TRAVEL BUG and THE
TRAVEL CHANNEL GUIDE TO … And when he has a spare minute,
he writes for the travel section of the Sunday Mirror in the
UK.
What is it about size and me? Oslo is
small. In the great scheme of things of course, she's a totally
respectable Eurocapital. Her population hovers just under the
half million mark. But perhaps it's all that Viking bluster
married to a fairly impressive reputation as the Eurovision
underdog; ten years on from my first visit, and I just remember
her. well, bigger. Not that it's a problem. Small things and
all that, but the result is a city that's more "oh" than "wow".
A definite "ow" for me is the ban on smoking introduced in June
2004. That's no bars, no restaurants, and no clubs. As the rest
of Europe tidies up its act it seems we are truly becoming an
island nation once more.
The flight over was a joy. A word of
warning to the uninitiated; some cheaper airlines advertise
flights to Oslo but the truth of the matter is they fly not
to Gardermoen Airport, a quick 30 minute train jaunt from the
city centre, but to Torp, 110km down the Oslofjord, an hour
and a half by bus. Why, we might as well start advertising London
Bristol as a capital airport! I flew with SAS, which by the
way had the best inflight service I've come across in a long
time .
Oslo itself is squidged into the far
upper corner of the Oslofjord, which truthfully isn't Norway's
prettiest. The city however is the oldest of the Scandinavian
capitals, dating back to the mid 11th century but for much of
its history it's been a provincial poor relation, taking a back
seat to sweet little Copenhagen and stuck-up Stockholm. Norway
was swallowed up by the Danes back in the 13th century and then
got sucked into Sweden in the 19th. Independence came in 1905
so no surprises, 2005 has been a pretty big do .
Oslo certainly costs. Despite having been reassured by friends,
and those whose opinion I would trust about as far as I could
stumble, that Oslo's got cheaper, ten years on and I still found
it pricey. It was at least on a par with London as far as much
of the spend went (bar hotels, which are surprisingly reasonable),
and more expensive when it came to the old booze. £6 -
£7 was the going rate for a spirit and mixer; fine for
shi-shi-tholes but not for your average spit-and-swallow type
pub .
Cue London Pub, ye olde Oslostry drinker.
Well, what have we here? A darkened basement sporting a thick
tread of shag worn like an old dap, artexed walls that look
like a dirty protest, and years' accumulation of smoke and nicotine.
Desperate for a ciggie? Just lick a pillar. The whole thing
looks like a branch of the London Dungeon and of an early evening,
you'd think it was. 10pm onwards though and the place is heaving
with an extremely mixed age group, mostly down-to-earth and
not your prissy alcohol pop types. I liked it very much, excepting
the cigarettes for sale behind the bar that just seemed to add
insult to injury. London Pub is open until 3am.
Upstairs on street level once you fight
your way through the exiled addicts is Chairs. It's an old fashioned
square dance cum club space with black walls and the odd flicker
of fruit-lozenged lights, very late 80s. The crowd is mixed
both genderwise and ethnically, though the attitude is wonderfully
lowkey. Chairs is open until 3am.
The seriously fashionable set heads a couple of blocks down
Kristian IV's Gate to shu club. I wouldn't recommend
anytime before midnight. 11.30pm and it was just me, a mojito
and the gorgeous Sten behind the bar, and he turned out to be
straight. Come 1am however and my mojito was reduced to just
so much limp mint. It was heaving. Over two floors, Oslo's cutest
squeeze their stuff, and there's a lot of squeezing because
so many smokers are trying to make it to the front door for
a puff. The sweat drips from cooling corners like leaking refrigerant.
This place was not my cup of tea at all. Shu club is
open until 3am. On the corner of Kristian IV's Gate however
just shuffling alongside shu is Sjokoladekoppen, a very nice
laid back café with sofas and outside seating which serves
as an early drinks venue for the crowd who aim to shu it later
on.
One venue that wasn't open at the time
of my visit was Soho. Heralded on umpteen websites as Oslo's
biggest, brightest and gayest conurbation of café, bar
and club, it had the discourtesy to go bust last year but word
is it will reopen. One survivor from this mega-complex on Kirkegata
is Det.11.bud which when pronounced comes out as "der elfter
bwd". It means The Eleventh Commandment and is Oslo's gay-friendly
eatery. Actually, that sells it short. This is a very smart,
gorgeously distressed eating space serving grown-up eats. The
gimmick is that modern twist on tapas which has nothing to do
with Spain but consists of ordering umpteen little dishes. The
cost accumulates. So it's 3 dishes for £25, 5 for £34,
up to 7 for £40. All desserts are £7 and all wines
are £30. I drank Great Ostertag 2002 Riesling like Granny
Smiths steamed in an old sock, ate oysters that felt like someone
else's tongue in my mouth and crumbed a blue cheese, which reminded
me of a man I once met. The food was surperlative if not the
best I've had. The clientele is mostly business on weekdays
but gay on weekends, and as you've no doubt noted, it ain't
cheap!
Another option I'd recommend is Gaio at the Radisson Plaza in
Sonja Henies Plass. The hotel itself is a rather soulless building,
the tallest hotel in northern Europe, though the rooms inside
are immaculately and comprehensively kitted out. Thank God for
Radisson's obsession with hairdryers and ironing boards. However,
I've not been known in the past to give the thumbs up to a Radisson
restaurant. Generally, I find them hit and miss affairs, the
food a bit amateur and the décor too trying. Gaio is
the exception to the rule, fantastic and imaginative Mediterranean
cooking and an extremely varied wine list taking in the likes
of Corsica and Lebanon, Old World and New. The highlights were
a rack of lamb like a marshmallow with a slight chew and an
oyster so plump it felt illegal. Starters from £10, mains
from £15, and wine from £25. There's also a set
3-course menu for £29.
Which leaves the remainder of Oslo's attractions.
The heart of the city, stretching along Karl Johans Gate is
a pretty late 19th century layout, a long pedestrianised shop-littered
trawl up to the Slottsparken and the Royal Palace. Turn away,
dear, not the shops, no bargains to be had here. This street
of course is where every December the recipient of the Nobel
Peace Prize parades. Ironically recent winners have found their
prize defunct by the time they make it to the Palace. Peace
not being what it was. Many visitors make a B-line for the Munch
Museum. A scream that may be but my personal faves are to be
found outside the city centre.
The Vikingskiphuset in Bygdoy south west of the city is worth
the fifteen-minute ferry trip from the harbour. This is the
Viking Ship Museum housing three 9th-century Viking ships discovered
at the beginning of the last century in the mud of the Oslofjord.
The state of preservation is breathtaking, and no matter what
your penchant for Vikings, the ships themsleves testify to some
pretty serious talents at work in the craftshop p.
Northwest of the city centre is the Frognerparken which is better
known to most as the Vigelandsparken. Dedicated in 1924, the
space, centering on a monumental fountain and obelisk, is a
sculptural riot courtesy of Gustav Vigeland who crammed the
park with statues right up to his death in 1943. The work is
Modernist but the energy is pure medieval. Around the fountain
we trace human relationships from cradle to grave and just so
many skeletal corpses, while up on the obelisk bodies writhe
like the façade of a Gothic cathedral. I don't know if
the drab drizzle helped but this was one of the most invigorating
artistic exhibitions I've ever seen .
Norwegians however are the key for me
to Oslo. To be blunt, they have something a little bit crazy
in their make-up, which sets them apart from their distinctly
stiff Swedish neighbours. And they like a drink, which is no
bad thing. And a tendency to party. Take it from someone who
knows. As far as cities go, Stockholm has the looks, and there's
no denying so does many a Swede, but it's a Norwegian you want
to end up in bed with.
FOR MORE INFORMATION
To find out more about Oslo visit:
www.visitoslo.com
To find out more about Oslo Radisson Plaza
visit:
Tel 00 47 22 05 80 00
www.radissonsas.com
What do you think of Oslo? I'd love to
hear any advice you may have DROP
ME A LINE
August 2005 |