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Coping in COPENHAGEN
GARETH DAVIS
looks after all the editorial content at Travel Channel and
runs the website. So if you've any comments or complaints, he's
the one to get in touch with! He also produces and presents
on the channel, primarily the series THE TRAVEL BUG and THE
TRAVEL CHANNEL GUIDE TO … And when he has a spare minute,
he writes for the travel section of the Sunday Mirror in the
UK.
Without resorting to the obvious cliché, this must be one of the most wonderful cities I’ve ever visited. What else can you say about a place where the guys come up and introduce themselves as Vikings? Not as expensive as either of the other Scandinavian capitals and far more friendly to those of us who like doing it on foot, this is a city that’s perfectly suited to a weekend away, and even more suited to an exploration of a gay scene
Sorry, did I say scene? I meant vignette or tableau vivant. Copenhagen is so liberal – kiss your partner in the street, get married – that the presence of a scene seems to be somehow superfluous. It ain’t huge but what there is, is great.
 The city itself is entrancingly compact. Visiting in sunny though chill October, it struck me like Blustering-By-Sea, the wind blowing across a maze of cobbles and canals where the sea is never far away, stuffed with just enough to fill a few days – and a few nights. For once I’m not in cultural mode. I’m not in a position to comment on the Tivoli Gardens or Christansborg, the world famous 19th century fairground and palace complex respectively. Nor the Marmorkirken or Amalienborg, the one a domed church which aimed to rival St Peter’s, the other, well, another palace complex that’s the current home of the royal family. I DID however make it to that statue, and it is as small as people say. The Little Mermaid mourns on her rock, clicked at daily by thousands of cameras, her eyes cast out to sea. This is a case of size doesn’t matter. It’s an emotive work that rightfully has become Copenhagen’s emblem. I also made it to the Cathedral. The Vor Frue Kirke is an austere Classical reinvention of what Classical was thought to be. A whitewashed interior where a Cecil B De Mille-like avenue of apostles in austere white marble leads you to an imposing Christ hovering above the altar with open arms, framed against gold.
 The truth is I set off for Copenhagen in the same spirit as a friend of mine once set off for Barcelona. On his return, I asked “So what did you think of the Gaudi?” His answer: “The who?” I was in Copenhagen for the nightlife and I wasn’t disappointed.
Lunch on arrival was at Oscar Bar and Café (Rådhuspladsen 77) tucked on a corner just behind the Town Hall. It’s an airy queer eatery with a laidback atmos by day. I’m not sure about it as an evening venue; it’s a little too formica for my dinner tastes. This is a great place to kick off with as there’s the full monty of Gay Copenhagen guides. Here you can pick up your map highlighting all the necessaries. There’s a mound of literature; QV is a fairly new newspaper of Swedish origin that’s now being published a couple of times a year in Danish, Panbladet is a mag which is trying to up the creative ante in terms of coverage of the arts and classy photography whilst Barometer is more useful for non-Danes because of the extensive listings in the rear. Out & About is also one to pick-up. It’s well established and sponsored by the bar scene, the main attraction is a user-friendly map and listings in its centre section.
 Lunch at Oscar’s is a chance to tuck into some Danish stalwarts such as smorgasbord, the infamous open-air sandwich raddled with things de la mer. Lunch comes in at around € 6. Diner on night one found me doing extra work on Prisoner Cell Block H. Hardly a place you’d think to chow down in elsewhere but only the Danes could pull off what appears to be a combination of heavy leather bar and well-appointed restaurant. At Jailhouse CPH (Studiestræde 12) you enter via a cellar bar and ascend to the first floor for a great value meal that’s impeccably served; starters from € 6.5, mains from € 15, and desserts from € 4.5. I had an excellent sirloin with baked potato. I’m not a great fan of the latter but this just oozed butter. The mountain of cheese I ended with would have exhausted Bagpuss’ mates. The clientele are totally mixed, from cute twenty somethings to aging couples of my vintage.
 Night two and I headed for Heaven (Kompagnistræde 18). It’s another bar cum eatery. A beautiful light first floor dining room however didn’t make up for what in all honesty is pick’n mix menu of nachos, tortillas, and tapas. The food isn’t serious but the main problem I had was a non-English speaking waiter who exploded the myth found in most guidebooks that ALL Danes speak the Queen’s tongue. Well, mine anyway. I finally ascertained that I was about to get a burger and having donned black in the absence of a wine list I left without eating and made my way back for second helpings to the Cell Block.
I spent my nights barring and partying fairly heavily. My fortieth birthday was just a week away and this old crock needed to drown some tears. The oldest bar in town is Centralhjørnet (Kattesundet 18). It’s on a corner and if old suggests washed up, think again. This corner bar was so heaving I couldn’t get near the place. So I set off – everything’s pretty close by – for Can Can (Mikkel Bryggers Gade 11), a lovely cellar venue where everyone was having a great time. It’s very group-oriented with the result that I sat alone in a corner feeing about as popular as puke.
The Men’s Bar sounded intriguing and hey, I ticked all the boxes. It’s in the nook of a courtyard and you pay for temporary membership. Alas, it was to be another short stay. I was early, the action hadn’t started in what was obviously going to be a fairly heavy masculine venue in the wee hours. Plus it only served beer! Now Copenhagen may be the home of Carlsberg but this old piece has made it so far on spirits alone. I left.
Back to the Cell Bock, rapidly becoming my second home, and let me assure you that though the theme is bars and detention - the staff dress as prison warders – the atmosphere is party vanilla. It’s very crowded of a Saturday night, a mix of men, women, and everything in-between, and very friendly. That’s as much as I’m saying.
 I never made it to PAN (Knabrostræde 3), “Denmark’s largest gay club”. Reports are that it’s very busy on weekends – where isn’t? But I did pop my head into Never Mind (Nørre Voldgade 2). The name summed up my rapidly-hurtling-towards-forty demeanour. It’s a cute space, far from huge, pumping out the volume and other disco classics. Having made a small coterie of mates, I ended up partying here until the lights came on at six.
And that was my visit to Copenhagen. Disappointed? Well, I think my credentials as a reporter on things cultural are well established. I went to Copenhagen quite simply for a weekend off. And that’s exactly what I got. AND I’d recommend it wholeheartedly to anyone else who was looking for a similar break. In fact, I’m going back in a few months time. Let’s put it this way. I left Denmark hung over and feeling closer to fifty. Seven days later, I turned forty, and I’m still here. Not bad in my book.
FOR MORE INFORMATION
I stayed at the Imperial Hotel, just five minutes’ walk from all the sights and action. Single rooms start from €130 and doubles from €160 in low season.
Visit www.imperialhotel.dk
To find our more about Copenhagen click on the logo
To find out more about the Danish Tourist Board click on the logo 
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February 2006 |